How many horses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

THOROUGHBRED: Who ME?? Do WHAT? I'm scared of light bulbs! I'm outta here!

ARABIAN: I changed it an hour ago... C'mon you guys - catch up!

QUARTER HORSE: Put all the bulbs in a pen and tell me which one you want.

STANDARDBRED: Oh for Pete's Sake, give me the damn bulb and let's be done with it.

SHETLAND: Give it to me. I'll kill it and we won't have to worry about it anymore.

FRIESIAN: I would, but I can't see where I'm going from behind all this mane.

BELGIAN: Put the Shetland on my back, maybe he can reach it then.

WARMBLOOD: Is the 2nd Level Instruction Packet in English? Doesn't anyone realize that I was sold for $75K as a yearling, but only because my hocks are bad, otherwise I would be worth $100K? I am NOT changing light bulbs. Make the TB get back here and do it.

MORGAN: Me! Me! Me! Pleeease let me! I wanna do it! I'm gonna do it! I know how, really I do! Just watch! My parole officer said it's okay, really! And when we're done we can go over to the neighbor's and chase their cats!

APPALOOSA: Ya'll are a bunch of losers. We don't need to change the lightbulb, I ain't scared of the dark. And someone make that damn Morgan stop jumping up and down before I double barrel him.

HAFLINGER: That thing I ate was a light bulb?

Mustang: Light bulb? Let's go on a trail ride, instead. And camp. Out in the open like REAL horses.

Lipizzan: Hah, amateurs. I will change the light bulb. Not only that, but I will do it while standing on my hind legs and balancing it on my nose, after which I will perform seven flying lead changes in a row and a capriole. Can you do that? Huh? Huh? Didn't think so.

Miniature: I bet you think I can't do it just cause I'm small. You know what that is? It's sizeism!

Akhal Teke: I will only change it if it's my owner's light bulb and no one else has ever touched it.

Andalusian: I will delegate the changing of the light bulb to my personal groom after he finishes shampooing my mane and cleaning my saddle, but only on the condition that it is changed for a soft blue or green bulb, which reflects better off my coat while I exhibit my astonishing gaits.

Cleveland Bay: I'm busy. Make the whipper-in and the hounds do it.

Saddlebred: My ears are up already, please please get the lightbulb away from me! I'm ready to show, really, I promise I'll win!

Paint: Put all the light bulbs in a pen, tell me which one you want, and my owner will bet you twenty bucks I can get it before the quarter horse.

POA: I'm not changing it. I'm the one who kicked the old one and broke it in the first place, remember? Now, excuse me, I have a grain room to break into. 

 

Tennessee Walkers: Do the whole stadium without breaking a sweat




*In Kansas City, Kansas, an ordinance prohibits driving a horse without holding the reins.
*Colorado bans fishing from horseback, as do Washington D.C. and Utah.
*Tennessee prohibits riders from lassoing fish.
*In Clarendon, Arizona it is illegal to water your horse from a bucket that has a hole in it